Reflection

I should be doing homework or finding something productive to do but I would rather start this blog and hopefully I can keep it updated. I just was thinking about some of the things that have happened over the past few years and I am astonished at how far I have come. I am going to try and break this down fairly systematically(since I'm fairly organized and like structure).


Intro: 
So a few minutes ago I was in the shower thinking about all the things that have changed over the past 2-3 years. These range from relationships, my increase in confidence as a person, professional development, my diminishing shyness and a variety of other things. I will start off this blog with a reflection of my senior year of high school.


High School (Go Huskies!!!):
If I had to pinpoint a pivotal year in my life it would have to be my senior year of high school. Its a point where everyone makes huge decisions on where they will go in their life. For me, I feel that I made the correct one. In my senior year I experienced a good bit of emotions/events that have set my life into it's current place. Entering my senior year I had almost no idea where I would end up within the next year's time frame. I was facing a major decision with choosing college and a major. I applied for a good number of scholarships (and didn't get but one). I started a year and half relationship which I still look back upon to this day. I began to actually believe in myself as a person. The development of my self-confidence is something that I attribute largely to the events which shaped my senior year.

The most powerful event was probably my relationship with Nicole. For the first time in my life I had someone who believed in me, someone who I could share my deep thoughts with and all of my experiences with her taught me how to be in a deep, committed, loving relationship. I am still grateful for everything I gained with her.

College was a decision that was weighing on me fairly heavily. I wasn't completely sure what I wanted to do but I still understood that I enjoy being creative and organized (despite my lack of artistic talent). So I looked at my options. There weren't any schools that really stood out to me. I initially applied to NC State because I was nominated for the Park Scholarship. I went to open house and hated it. I applied to UNC Charlotte mainly because of the business school and its close proximity to home. I applied to Appalachian State because it was my option to escape from society. I had this idea that I could disappear into the mountains for 4 years, grow a nasty looking beard and then suddenly re-emerge at graduation. I liked the idea of trying out snowboarding. Their recent popularity also weighed on me. My 4th option was this small private school in Kentucky called Bellermine which was my option to bowl if I wanted to. The school didn't offer many majors and the coach lost contact with me. Guess who was cut first! Bellermine!! My second cut came with NC State because I didn't like the campus, or the idea of living in the dorm rooms that were nasty looking. Now that I look back at it, it should have been my 2nd choice, not 3rd. So it came down to Charlotte and App State. I toured both colleges. I went to Charlotte's open house twice and had to been to App State on private tours 2 or 3 times. I decided that my future should come first so I chose Charlotte. Major factors were that Charlotte's business school is years ahead of App's, Charlotte's location makes it prime for internships and future jobs, Charlotte's campus is beautiful and that I had a friend that was offering to room with me.


Go Niners!!!!: 
My freshmen year started off a little slow. I was adjusting to college classes, living on my own, driving to Boone every weekend to see Nicole (goes to App State), and bowling on Saturday mornings in Gastonia. My life was pretty simple then despite the idiots in the hallway which I won't get into.

While I was in high school I believe I started to identify myself as a leader due to the number of student organizations I was in. I didn't hold real high position in any of them (except senior class President and NHS President) and we didn't accomplish a whole lot. I have this little theory of mine where I believe people identify themselves with a certain role (in my case leadership) and they try to fill that role from that point on in their life. I like my role so I will try to fulfill it.

Anyways, I applied to Emerging Leaders my first semester of college because I want to be just that, an emerging leader. Other than that I didn't do anything first semester of college other than try out the bowling club which was a huge flop. My second semester things started to open up. I was recommended by my BEST advisor, Ms Kristen Galloway, to join this student organization called Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE). It felt exclusive to me so I decided to go to their upcoming Tuesday meeting. I spoke to the girl who told Ms Galloway about it, Rachel Williams, and she helped get me involved in some projects. I was initially involved in the Sam's Club Challenge with Yolanda Kennedy, Jonathan Curry and a few others. I also helped in the Marketing Committee with Rachel. JCurry was also in this. Developing a few friendships was crucial in me staying a member in SIFE the first semester. At the end of the semester I felt that SIFE was something to do so I decided to keep it. For some reason or another I decided to volunteer to lead this startup project called Success for Teens which mentors high school students at West Charlotte and Olympic high schools. I think the main reason I volunteered to co-lead was because I identified with those kids because my high school was similar in terms of dropout rates and poverty.

In mid second semester I applied to the Student Alumni Ambassadors because I felt that it was exclusive and I had the chance to represent the University in a formal style. I also applied to study abroad at the same time. I had a growing interest in England and traveling and I wanted to explore the world. I applied for this $12,000 study abroad scholarship which I interviewed for, I felt the interview went very well. I ended up withdrawing myself from the scholarship after I had interviewed for it because of a combination of factors. The largest one being that I had just been accepted to SAA. Others were leaving Nicole for a semester and leaving my grandparents behind for fear of something bad happening. I believe I made a good decision to drop study abroad, it was a once in a lifetime chance and I do wish I could have went to London but at the same time opportunities would have been closed for me.

My summer between freshmen and sophomore year was pretty good. It was boring because I didn't have a job and had tons of free time but I still enjoyed being with Nicole and going on vacation. Looking back, I will forever cherish that summer because it was the last one I got to spend with the person I first fell in love with. I remember all the good times we had like they were five minutes ago. I was completely infatuated with her, even after over a year. We had plenty of good times but there were some bad ones, mainly arguments that would originate over something stupid. From my memory I would say that it usually came from one of us saying something and the other not being able to overlook small comments. With that being said, we did look after each other and stick up for one another, no matter what the circumstances. That is one thing I still miss.

Starting sophomore year was  really the beginning of the beginning, as it stands now. Being SFT leader made me grow up a lot and learn how to be a leader. I continued to feel that was fulfilling my role. I lost Nicole over  stupid stuff. I ended up being too busy and poor to make frequent visits to see her. The life of leading on campus takes lots of your personal time away, and that doesn't mean just during the week. We grew apart from each other and I got fed up with her complaining that we weren't as close as we were before. So when she called me saying things need to be different, I didn't object. That was the closing of a huge chapter in my life, one that I will never forget. After a few months I thought I was ready to move on, I thought I had the time availability if someone was in Charlotte. Turns out I was wrong. It ended after 2 1/2 months.

Events between November and the ending of February are ones that I think have set me up for the future. I advanced my position in SIFE as a member of the competition team, next year's VP of Marketing, started a SIFE finance committee, won a $10,000 grant for a environmental project and furthered SFT. My roles around campus expanded. I met hundreds of new people. I organized and ran a can food drive at the last minute for SAA, I decided to serve on a board that oversees student media funding, made it to every home basketball game, ran a chest painting event at Homecoming, and was in basketball and flag football intramural sports(men's and co-rec for both).

March was another crazy month, except more crazy than any before. SIFE competition team won our 8th regional championship and advanced to Nationals in Minneapolis, MN on May 10th-13th. I helped a girl named Raegan Perry run for Student Body President, she lost but has still rallied people together like nothing I've seen before. Because of my involvement with her campaign I was approached by a guy named Joel who wants to start a new publication of student media.

For the first time in my life I feel like I have the experience and ability to accomplish anything I want to. I feel kind of like a "top-dog." I feel entrepreneurial, I now know that I can find people and connect them with resources to accomplish specific goals.

Overview: 
So I was at home the past few days for the first time in a while and it made me get to thinking, thinking about the past. Thinking about how I have been going to my grandparents house since I was born. I was thinking about growing up there, getting ice cream out of the fridge as a child, swimming in the pool, and hanging out with Nicole for countless hours.

To continue, I now feel that I am living for myself and only myself and actually making pretty decent progress. I can see the vision of what life looks like after school. I can see what I want it to look like and I understand that what I am doing is the right thing in order to accomplish it. I've sacrificed personal relationships in my pursuit for happiness. I do of course wish I could share my life with someone but at this point people are just too complicated. Once I find someone who can keep things simple, then I will be happy in that aspect.

I've changed so much in the past 2 years and even the past 6 months. The face of my life is completely different than it was. I feel like an adult now.