I get asked all the time if I ever sleep. My response is usually "not really." I always find myself trying to re-motivate myself because I'm just worn out. I have had people tell me quite often in the middle of the day that I look tired. I guess this is just a part of my life.
You know I've made personal sacrifices in my life in order to put myself first. And for once I can actually say that I am more happy in this situation than I was before, with personal commitments and such.
A lot of kids come to college and end up partying, getting into trouble, chasing girls or working 40 hour a week jobs on top of school. I have chosen a different path. This path is that path of success, and by success I mean that I am achieving things that others haven't. I'm exploring my abilities, interests and creativity. I'm putting myself first, and doing my best not to let anything get in the way of that.
I've had two relationships in the past year end essentially because I had too many time commitments. The first was mainly because of location differences and the second was almost entirely because of my time restraints. With this being said, I think that its all worth it. Its worth putting off chasing girls to work on myself and put myself in a better position in the future.
Quite often I find my roommates asking me if I want to go to the gym and play ball, go to the movies, go out to eat, etc. It seems like this semester especially I have had to say "no" more often than "yes." With this being said, I believe that if I put off these pleasures I will be better off in the future. Its essentially a choice of opportunity cost. Is future gratification on a larger scale worth putting off instant gratification on a smaller scale? My answer is yes.
I was in a discussion about a month or two ago with a person about this exact thing. I expressed that its almost painful to not have freedoms that other college students have. People who just go to class have it so easy, they have almost zero time commitments and can therefore go do whatever they want in their spare time. I would love to pick up running but truth be told, I'm either up to late or too tired if I finish early. To get back on point, she told me that I didn't have to punish myself. The more and more that I think about this the more I think that I'm not punishing myself. I'm just delaying gratification for a much stronger gratification later in life.
One of the greatest pleasures I can get is when someone I respect has told me I did a good job, or that I found a creative solution to a difficult problem. In an essence, I enjoy being entrepreneurial, I enjoy creating new things. I love being the precedent to which people in the future strive to be like.
In a gist, I love my life, not because I don't have time to sleep, go play ball or play video games but because I am achieving. Achievement is my drug, I live to lead.
-Matt
P.S. Go Niners!!!!
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