A couple of days ago I heard about a kid who died from drug overdose. The kid(whose name I won't mention) went to high school with me and graduated the year after me(2010). He hadn't even been out of high school for even a whole year.
I remember him in my Biology Honors class which I took when I was a Junior. Basically everyone else was sophomores. I recall him often making comments about doing drugs, drinking beer and being violent. It seemed to me that he had some masculinity issues, not in the sense that he was feminine but that he thought you had to those things to be a "man." I remember one time him making a reference to how his dad was an alcoholic.
These observations made me realize that he probably didn't have any positive role models in his life. Its really a sad thing.
Some people aren't given the chance to see the bigger picture, to realize they can accomplish so much in life. I honestly feel that a huge problem with youth delinquency is caused by having negative role models(or none at all) in their lives. Broken families(even ones with families still together) can have tremendously negative roles in the lives of young people. After a certain time period, there would theoretically be a ripple effect thats created. The only way to reverse these effects are to impact the lives of youth at an even greater rate than the ripple effect. The longer people wait to intervene the more intervention is needed. It increases exponentially.
About a month ago I saw a movie called "Waiting for Superman" which outlines the problems with the education system in America. The movie was really good but had some opinionated statements which are debatable but I feel that all of them had at least some merit. The main point I took from the movie was that I can play a role in countering the problem. As a college student I can serve as a role model, who can relate to young people because I am still young. My role doesn't stop there, I can also serve as a mentor which will help close the education gap(and therefore delinquency rate) in America.
I urge each of to ask yourself "what is my role in this problem" and "what can I do about it." People complain about these problems all the time but rarely do something about it. Thats called hypocrisy.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Is Time on the Menu??? Nope!!!
I get asked all the time if I ever sleep. My response is usually "not really." I always find myself trying to re-motivate myself because I'm just worn out. I have had people tell me quite often in the middle of the day that I look tired. I guess this is just a part of my life.
You know I've made personal sacrifices in my life in order to put myself first. And for once I can actually say that I am more happy in this situation than I was before, with personal commitments and such.
A lot of kids come to college and end up partying, getting into trouble, chasing girls or working 40 hour a week jobs on top of school. I have chosen a different path. This path is that path of success, and by success I mean that I am achieving things that others haven't. I'm exploring my abilities, interests and creativity. I'm putting myself first, and doing my best not to let anything get in the way of that.
I've had two relationships in the past year end essentially because I had too many time commitments. The first was mainly because of location differences and the second was almost entirely because of my time restraints. With this being said, I think that its all worth it. Its worth putting off chasing girls to work on myself and put myself in a better position in the future.
Quite often I find my roommates asking me if I want to go to the gym and play ball, go to the movies, go out to eat, etc. It seems like this semester especially I have had to say "no" more often than "yes." With this being said, I believe that if I put off these pleasures I will be better off in the future. Its essentially a choice of opportunity cost. Is future gratification on a larger scale worth putting off instant gratification on a smaller scale? My answer is yes.
I was in a discussion about a month or two ago with a person about this exact thing. I expressed that its almost painful to not have freedoms that other college students have. People who just go to class have it so easy, they have almost zero time commitments and can therefore go do whatever they want in their spare time. I would love to pick up running but truth be told, I'm either up to late or too tired if I finish early. To get back on point, she told me that I didn't have to punish myself. The more and more that I think about this the more I think that I'm not punishing myself. I'm just delaying gratification for a much stronger gratification later in life.
One of the greatest pleasures I can get is when someone I respect has told me I did a good job, or that I found a creative solution to a difficult problem. In an essence, I enjoy being entrepreneurial, I enjoy creating new things. I love being the precedent to which people in the future strive to be like.
In a gist, I love my life, not because I don't have time to sleep, go play ball or play video games but because I am achieving. Achievement is my drug, I live to lead.
-Matt
P.S. Go Niners!!!!
You know I've made personal sacrifices in my life in order to put myself first. And for once I can actually say that I am more happy in this situation than I was before, with personal commitments and such.
A lot of kids come to college and end up partying, getting into trouble, chasing girls or working 40 hour a week jobs on top of school. I have chosen a different path. This path is that path of success, and by success I mean that I am achieving things that others haven't. I'm exploring my abilities, interests and creativity. I'm putting myself first, and doing my best not to let anything get in the way of that.
I've had two relationships in the past year end essentially because I had too many time commitments. The first was mainly because of location differences and the second was almost entirely because of my time restraints. With this being said, I think that its all worth it. Its worth putting off chasing girls to work on myself and put myself in a better position in the future.
Quite often I find my roommates asking me if I want to go to the gym and play ball, go to the movies, go out to eat, etc. It seems like this semester especially I have had to say "no" more often than "yes." With this being said, I believe that if I put off these pleasures I will be better off in the future. Its essentially a choice of opportunity cost. Is future gratification on a larger scale worth putting off instant gratification on a smaller scale? My answer is yes.
I was in a discussion about a month or two ago with a person about this exact thing. I expressed that its almost painful to not have freedoms that other college students have. People who just go to class have it so easy, they have almost zero time commitments and can therefore go do whatever they want in their spare time. I would love to pick up running but truth be told, I'm either up to late or too tired if I finish early. To get back on point, she told me that I didn't have to punish myself. The more and more that I think about this the more I think that I'm not punishing myself. I'm just delaying gratification for a much stronger gratification later in life.
One of the greatest pleasures I can get is when someone I respect has told me I did a good job, or that I found a creative solution to a difficult problem. In an essence, I enjoy being entrepreneurial, I enjoy creating new things. I love being the precedent to which people in the future strive to be like.
In a gist, I love my life, not because I don't have time to sleep, go play ball or play video games but because I am achieving. Achievement is my drug, I live to lead.
-Matt
P.S. Go Niners!!!!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Nugget
Back in February I went to a conference in Raleigh with SAA and I was given this book called the FBook. The FBook is produced by a student group at the University of Florida and is distributed to all of the freshmen, 9000 copies are produced and the extras are sold at the bookstore for $5 a piece. It costs $3 each to produce. The idea behind the FBook is to orient students to Gator traditions and reward them for accomplishing a certain number of traditions.
When I heard about the book I thought it was a very unique idea and I wanted to see it implemented at Charlotte. So I gave the book to a girl named Raegan Perry who was running for the UNC Charlotte Student Body President at the time. She loved the idea and put some pretty heavy emphasis on it in her platform.
I was approached a few weeks ago by a student named Joel who wants to start something similar to the FBook on campus. I was referred to Joel by one of Raegan's roommates who also knows Joel. Its funny how things come back to you. Anyways, what he wants to do is to create a semesterly publication called "The Nugget" which will have a collection of essays on Niner History. The format is to be similar to the Sanskrit. Topics covered in each publication will include random articles on Niner history such as something about Bonnie Cone, the 1977 basketball team, maybe the founding of a building, or basically anything that is found to be interesting. Each issue will have a central theme, so for example, the first issue might be about firsts.
To date we have formed a small group of dedicated students, a constitution for being a student organization, and a few other supportive documents. Things are coming along very nicely and its exciting to be a part of something brand new that could potentially play such a large role at UNC Charlotte in the future.
We have also developed a pretty decent preliminary structure with an EB of 6 members. A position is dedicated in the structure to allow for the creation of a publication more similar to the FBook. More of this is to be discussed at a later time.
Overall, this is one of the most exciting things I've been a part of in a long time, but then again I'm inspired easily. If you are reading this and would like to be a part of this initiative then please email me at mmurrow1@gmail.com
-Matt
When I heard about the book I thought it was a very unique idea and I wanted to see it implemented at Charlotte. So I gave the book to a girl named Raegan Perry who was running for the UNC Charlotte Student Body President at the time. She loved the idea and put some pretty heavy emphasis on it in her platform.
I was approached a few weeks ago by a student named Joel who wants to start something similar to the FBook on campus. I was referred to Joel by one of Raegan's roommates who also knows Joel. Its funny how things come back to you. Anyways, what he wants to do is to create a semesterly publication called "The Nugget" which will have a collection of essays on Niner History. The format is to be similar to the Sanskrit. Topics covered in each publication will include random articles on Niner history such as something about Bonnie Cone, the 1977 basketball team, maybe the founding of a building, or basically anything that is found to be interesting. Each issue will have a central theme, so for example, the first issue might be about firsts.
To date we have formed a small group of dedicated students, a constitution for being a student organization, and a few other supportive documents. Things are coming along very nicely and its exciting to be a part of something brand new that could potentially play such a large role at UNC Charlotte in the future.
We have also developed a pretty decent preliminary structure with an EB of 6 members. A position is dedicated in the structure to allow for the creation of a publication more similar to the FBook. More of this is to be discussed at a later time.
Overall, this is one of the most exciting things I've been a part of in a long time, but then again I'm inspired easily. If you are reading this and would like to be a part of this initiative then please email me at mmurrow1@gmail.com
-Matt
Monday, April 11, 2011
SAA
I've learned today that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes no matter what your plans are they just seem to go wrong and something better happens. Today I gave my speech for SAA president, thought it was a cinch and ended up losing. I had a vision for SAA, for SAA to fill a long needed role at the University but it looks like that will not come to reality.
I could have brought so much to SAA, we even had an amazing executive board ready to roll into office and hold no prisoners. We were going to change the whole executive board structure, and change the committee structure among others. We were going to delegate different roles to certain individuals along with create certain initiatives which benefit the University as a whole. We were talking big things. things that haven't been done before and won't be done for a while.
My speech wasn't great, I didn't prepare a whole lot because I underestimated the opponent. I had basically all the votes of the dedicated SAAs, it was just the new ones and the ones that she knew that voted for her. It was basically a popularity contest, which I rarely win.
All being said, I understand that things will work out for the best. No matter how much work I would have put into SAA it couldn't be anywhere near the level of SIFE, we are on our own playing field, there is no competition. Now I'll have time to focus on getting The Nugget off the ground, SIFE VP of Marketing, CGI and a few other various things which are almost certain to pop up. I might even have time to do competition team next year again.
Last year around this time I had high hopes of winning the Odyssian study abroad scholarship and going to London for a semester. I ended up withdrawing myself from that because of several reasons but SAA being a big part of it. This past year has honestly been better than I could have ever imagined and I don't believe it would have been as amazing if I had gone to London.
Everything happens for a reason. Big things are coming!!!
I could have brought so much to SAA, we even had an amazing executive board ready to roll into office and hold no prisoners. We were going to change the whole executive board structure, and change the committee structure among others. We were going to delegate different roles to certain individuals along with create certain initiatives which benefit the University as a whole. We were talking big things. things that haven't been done before and won't be done for a while.
My speech wasn't great, I didn't prepare a whole lot because I underestimated the opponent. I had basically all the votes of the dedicated SAAs, it was just the new ones and the ones that she knew that voted for her. It was basically a popularity contest, which I rarely win.
All being said, I understand that things will work out for the best. No matter how much work I would have put into SAA it couldn't be anywhere near the level of SIFE, we are on our own playing field, there is no competition. Now I'll have time to focus on getting The Nugget off the ground, SIFE VP of Marketing, CGI and a few other various things which are almost certain to pop up. I might even have time to do competition team next year again.
Last year around this time I had high hopes of winning the Odyssian study abroad scholarship and going to London for a semester. I ended up withdrawing myself from that because of several reasons but SAA being a big part of it. This past year has honestly been better than I could have ever imagined and I don't believe it would have been as amazing if I had gone to London.
Everything happens for a reason. Big things are coming!!!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Skeet Shootin'
Skeet:
Today I discovered a hobby that I will most definitely take up after college, skeet shooting. I went with my grandpaw to shooting around noon and it turned out pretty well. I turned some heads and a bunch of people were making comments on how good I was doing to have never fired a real gun before. People kept asking my grandpa if he was sure it was my first time shooting. One of the guys that owns the place even made the comment to him that some people are just natural shooters.
Nevertheless, all this made me feel really good and its definitely something that I will take up when I have the time and money. I like to excel at things and if this one will be easier than other then I'm up for it.
Today I discovered a hobby that I will most definitely take up after college, skeet shooting. I went with my grandpaw to shooting around noon and it turned out pretty well. I turned some heads and a bunch of people were making comments on how good I was doing to have never fired a real gun before. People kept asking my grandpa if he was sure it was my first time shooting. One of the guys that owns the place even made the comment to him that some people are just natural shooters.
Nevertheless, all this made me feel really good and its definitely something that I will take up when I have the time and money. I like to excel at things and if this one will be easier than other then I'm up for it.
Reflection
I should be doing homework or finding something productive to do but I would rather start this blog and hopefully I can keep it updated. I just was thinking about some of the things that have happened over the past few years and I am astonished at how far I have come. I am going to try and break this down fairly systematically(since I'm fairly organized and like structure).
Intro:
So a few minutes ago I was in the shower thinking about all the things that have changed over the past 2-3 years. These range from relationships, my increase in confidence as a person, professional development, my diminishing shyness and a variety of other things. I will start off this blog with a reflection of my senior year of high school.
High School (Go Huskies!!!):
If I had to pinpoint a pivotal year in my life it would have to be my senior year of high school. Its a point where everyone makes huge decisions on where they will go in their life. For me, I feel that I made the correct one. In my senior year I experienced a good bit of emotions/events that have set my life into it's current place. Entering my senior year I had almost no idea where I would end up within the next year's time frame. I was facing a major decision with choosing college and a major. I applied for a good number of scholarships (and didn't get but one). I started a year and half relationship which I still look back upon to this day. I began to actually believe in myself as a person. The development of my self-confidence is something that I attribute largely to the events which shaped my senior year.
The most powerful event was probably my relationship with Nicole. For the first time in my life I had someone who believed in me, someone who I could share my deep thoughts with and all of my experiences with her taught me how to be in a deep, committed, loving relationship. I am still grateful for everything I gained with her.
College was a decision that was weighing on me fairly heavily. I wasn't completely sure what I wanted to do but I still understood that I enjoy being creative and organized (despite my lack of artistic talent). So I looked at my options. There weren't any schools that really stood out to me. I initially applied to NC State because I was nominated for the Park Scholarship. I went to open house and hated it. I applied to UNC Charlotte mainly because of the business school and its close proximity to home. I applied to Appalachian State because it was my option to escape from society. I had this idea that I could disappear into the mountains for 4 years, grow a nasty looking beard and then suddenly re-emerge at graduation. I liked the idea of trying out snowboarding. Their recent popularity also weighed on me. My 4th option was this small private school in Kentucky called Bellermine which was my option to bowl if I wanted to. The school didn't offer many majors and the coach lost contact with me. Guess who was cut first! Bellermine!! My second cut came with NC State because I didn't like the campus, or the idea of living in the dorm rooms that were nasty looking. Now that I look back at it, it should have been my 2nd choice, not 3rd. So it came down to Charlotte and App State. I toured both colleges. I went to Charlotte's open house twice and had to been to App State on private tours 2 or 3 times. I decided that my future should come first so I chose Charlotte. Major factors were that Charlotte's business school is years ahead of App's, Charlotte's location makes it prime for internships and future jobs, Charlotte's campus is beautiful and that I had a friend that was offering to room with me.
Go Niners!!!!:
My freshmen year started off a little slow. I was adjusting to college classes, living on my own, driving to Boone every weekend to see Nicole (goes to App State), and bowling on Saturday mornings in Gastonia. My life was pretty simple then despite the idiots in the hallway which I won't get into.
While I was in high school I believe I started to identify myself as a leader due to the number of student organizations I was in. I didn't hold real high position in any of them (except senior class President and NHS President) and we didn't accomplish a whole lot. I have this little theory of mine where I believe people identify themselves with a certain role (in my case leadership) and they try to fill that role from that point on in their life. I like my role so I will try to fulfill it.
Anyways, I applied to Emerging Leaders my first semester of college because I want to be just that, an emerging leader. Other than that I didn't do anything first semester of college other than try out the bowling club which was a huge flop. My second semester things started to open up. I was recommended by my BEST advisor, Ms Kristen Galloway, to join this student organization called Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE). It felt exclusive to me so I decided to go to their upcoming Tuesday meeting. I spoke to the girl who told Ms Galloway about it, Rachel Williams, and she helped get me involved in some projects. I was initially involved in the Sam's Club Challenge with Yolanda Kennedy, Jonathan Curry and a few others. I also helped in the Marketing Committee with Rachel. JCurry was also in this. Developing a few friendships was crucial in me staying a member in SIFE the first semester. At the end of the semester I felt that SIFE was something to do so I decided to keep it. For some reason or another I decided to volunteer to lead this startup project called Success for Teens which mentors high school students at West Charlotte and Olympic high schools. I think the main reason I volunteered to co-lead was because I identified with those kids because my high school was similar in terms of dropout rates and poverty.
In mid second semester I applied to the Student Alumni Ambassadors because I felt that it was exclusive and I had the chance to represent the University in a formal style. I also applied to study abroad at the same time. I had a growing interest in England and traveling and I wanted to explore the world. I applied for this $12,000 study abroad scholarship which I interviewed for, I felt the interview went very well. I ended up withdrawing myself from the scholarship after I had interviewed for it because of a combination of factors. The largest one being that I had just been accepted to SAA. Others were leaving Nicole for a semester and leaving my grandparents behind for fear of something bad happening. I believe I made a good decision to drop study abroad, it was a once in a lifetime chance and I do wish I could have went to London but at the same time opportunities would have been closed for me.
My summer between freshmen and sophomore year was pretty good. It was boring because I didn't have a job and had tons of free time but I still enjoyed being with Nicole and going on vacation. Looking back, I will forever cherish that summer because it was the last one I got to spend with the person I first fell in love with. I remember all the good times we had like they were five minutes ago. I was completely infatuated with her, even after over a year. We had plenty of good times but there were some bad ones, mainly arguments that would originate over something stupid. From my memory I would say that it usually came from one of us saying something and the other not being able to overlook small comments. With that being said, we did look after each other and stick up for one another, no matter what the circumstances. That is one thing I still miss.
Starting sophomore year was really the beginning of the beginning, as it stands now. Being SFT leader made me grow up a lot and learn how to be a leader. I continued to feel that was fulfilling my role. I lost Nicole over stupid stuff. I ended up being too busy and poor to make frequent visits to see her. The life of leading on campus takes lots of your personal time away, and that doesn't mean just during the week. We grew apart from each other and I got fed up with her complaining that we weren't as close as we were before. So when she called me saying things need to be different, I didn't object. That was the closing of a huge chapter in my life, one that I will never forget. After a few months I thought I was ready to move on, I thought I had the time availability if someone was in Charlotte. Turns out I was wrong. It ended after 2 1/2 months.
Events between November and the ending of February are ones that I think have set me up for the future. I advanced my position in SIFE as a member of the competition team, next year's VP of Marketing, started a SIFE finance committee, won a $10,000 grant for a environmental project and furthered SFT. My roles around campus expanded. I met hundreds of new people. I organized and ran a can food drive at the last minute for SAA, I decided to serve on a board that oversees student media funding, made it to every home basketball game, ran a chest painting event at Homecoming, and was in basketball and flag football intramural sports(men's and co-rec for both).
March was another crazy month, except more crazy than any before. SIFE competition team won our 8th regional championship and advanced to Nationals in Minneapolis, MN on May 10th-13th. I helped a girl named Raegan Perry run for Student Body President, she lost but has still rallied people together like nothing I've seen before. Because of my involvement with her campaign I was approached by a guy named Joel who wants to start a new publication of student media.
For the first time in my life I feel like I have the experience and ability to accomplish anything I want to. I feel kind of like a "top-dog." I feel entrepreneurial, I now know that I can find people and connect them with resources to accomplish specific goals.
Overview:
So I was at home the past few days for the first time in a while and it made me get to thinking, thinking about the past. Thinking about how I have been going to my grandparents house since I was born. I was thinking about growing up there, getting ice cream out of the fridge as a child, swimming in the pool, and hanging out with Nicole for countless hours.
To continue, I now feel that I am living for myself and only myself and actually making pretty decent progress. I can see the vision of what life looks like after school. I can see what I want it to look like and I understand that what I am doing is the right thing in order to accomplish it. I've sacrificed personal relationships in my pursuit for happiness. I do of course wish I could share my life with someone but at this point people are just too complicated. Once I find someone who can keep things simple, then I will be happy in that aspect.
I've changed so much in the past 2 years and even the past 6 months. The face of my life is completely different than it was. I feel like an adult now.
Intro:
So a few minutes ago I was in the shower thinking about all the things that have changed over the past 2-3 years. These range from relationships, my increase in confidence as a person, professional development, my diminishing shyness and a variety of other things. I will start off this blog with a reflection of my senior year of high school.
High School (Go Huskies!!!):
If I had to pinpoint a pivotal year in my life it would have to be my senior year of high school. Its a point where everyone makes huge decisions on where they will go in their life. For me, I feel that I made the correct one. In my senior year I experienced a good bit of emotions/events that have set my life into it's current place. Entering my senior year I had almost no idea where I would end up within the next year's time frame. I was facing a major decision with choosing college and a major. I applied for a good number of scholarships (and didn't get but one). I started a year and half relationship which I still look back upon to this day. I began to actually believe in myself as a person. The development of my self-confidence is something that I attribute largely to the events which shaped my senior year.
The most powerful event was probably my relationship with Nicole. For the first time in my life I had someone who believed in me, someone who I could share my deep thoughts with and all of my experiences with her taught me how to be in a deep, committed, loving relationship. I am still grateful for everything I gained with her.
College was a decision that was weighing on me fairly heavily. I wasn't completely sure what I wanted to do but I still understood that I enjoy being creative and organized (despite my lack of artistic talent). So I looked at my options. There weren't any schools that really stood out to me. I initially applied to NC State because I was nominated for the Park Scholarship. I went to open house and hated it. I applied to UNC Charlotte mainly because of the business school and its close proximity to home. I applied to Appalachian State because it was my option to escape from society. I had this idea that I could disappear into the mountains for 4 years, grow a nasty looking beard and then suddenly re-emerge at graduation. I liked the idea of trying out snowboarding. Their recent popularity also weighed on me. My 4th option was this small private school in Kentucky called Bellermine which was my option to bowl if I wanted to. The school didn't offer many majors and the coach lost contact with me. Guess who was cut first! Bellermine!! My second cut came with NC State because I didn't like the campus, or the idea of living in the dorm rooms that were nasty looking. Now that I look back at it, it should have been my 2nd choice, not 3rd. So it came down to Charlotte and App State. I toured both colleges. I went to Charlotte's open house twice and had to been to App State on private tours 2 or 3 times. I decided that my future should come first so I chose Charlotte. Major factors were that Charlotte's business school is years ahead of App's, Charlotte's location makes it prime for internships and future jobs, Charlotte's campus is beautiful and that I had a friend that was offering to room with me.
Go Niners!!!!:
My freshmen year started off a little slow. I was adjusting to college classes, living on my own, driving to Boone every weekend to see Nicole (goes to App State), and bowling on Saturday mornings in Gastonia. My life was pretty simple then despite the idiots in the hallway which I won't get into.
While I was in high school I believe I started to identify myself as a leader due to the number of student organizations I was in. I didn't hold real high position in any of them (except senior class President and NHS President) and we didn't accomplish a whole lot. I have this little theory of mine where I believe people identify themselves with a certain role (in my case leadership) and they try to fill that role from that point on in their life. I like my role so I will try to fulfill it.
Anyways, I applied to Emerging Leaders my first semester of college because I want to be just that, an emerging leader. Other than that I didn't do anything first semester of college other than try out the bowling club which was a huge flop. My second semester things started to open up. I was recommended by my BEST advisor, Ms Kristen Galloway, to join this student organization called Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE). It felt exclusive to me so I decided to go to their upcoming Tuesday meeting. I spoke to the girl who told Ms Galloway about it, Rachel Williams, and she helped get me involved in some projects. I was initially involved in the Sam's Club Challenge with Yolanda Kennedy, Jonathan Curry and a few others. I also helped in the Marketing Committee with Rachel. JCurry was also in this. Developing a few friendships was crucial in me staying a member in SIFE the first semester. At the end of the semester I felt that SIFE was something to do so I decided to keep it. For some reason or another I decided to volunteer to lead this startup project called Success for Teens which mentors high school students at West Charlotte and Olympic high schools. I think the main reason I volunteered to co-lead was because I identified with those kids because my high school was similar in terms of dropout rates and poverty.
In mid second semester I applied to the Student Alumni Ambassadors because I felt that it was exclusive and I had the chance to represent the University in a formal style. I also applied to study abroad at the same time. I had a growing interest in England and traveling and I wanted to explore the world. I applied for this $12,000 study abroad scholarship which I interviewed for, I felt the interview went very well. I ended up withdrawing myself from the scholarship after I had interviewed for it because of a combination of factors. The largest one being that I had just been accepted to SAA. Others were leaving Nicole for a semester and leaving my grandparents behind for fear of something bad happening. I believe I made a good decision to drop study abroad, it was a once in a lifetime chance and I do wish I could have went to London but at the same time opportunities would have been closed for me.
My summer between freshmen and sophomore year was pretty good. It was boring because I didn't have a job and had tons of free time but I still enjoyed being with Nicole and going on vacation. Looking back, I will forever cherish that summer because it was the last one I got to spend with the person I first fell in love with. I remember all the good times we had like they were five minutes ago. I was completely infatuated with her, even after over a year. We had plenty of good times but there were some bad ones, mainly arguments that would originate over something stupid. From my memory I would say that it usually came from one of us saying something and the other not being able to overlook small comments. With that being said, we did look after each other and stick up for one another, no matter what the circumstances. That is one thing I still miss.
Starting sophomore year was really the beginning of the beginning, as it stands now. Being SFT leader made me grow up a lot and learn how to be a leader. I continued to feel that was fulfilling my role. I lost Nicole over stupid stuff. I ended up being too busy and poor to make frequent visits to see her. The life of leading on campus takes lots of your personal time away, and that doesn't mean just during the week. We grew apart from each other and I got fed up with her complaining that we weren't as close as we were before. So when she called me saying things need to be different, I didn't object. That was the closing of a huge chapter in my life, one that I will never forget. After a few months I thought I was ready to move on, I thought I had the time availability if someone was in Charlotte. Turns out I was wrong. It ended after 2 1/2 months.
Events between November and the ending of February are ones that I think have set me up for the future. I advanced my position in SIFE as a member of the competition team, next year's VP of Marketing, started a SIFE finance committee, won a $10,000 grant for a environmental project and furthered SFT. My roles around campus expanded. I met hundreds of new people. I organized and ran a can food drive at the last minute for SAA, I decided to serve on a board that oversees student media funding, made it to every home basketball game, ran a chest painting event at Homecoming, and was in basketball and flag football intramural sports(men's and co-rec for both).
March was another crazy month, except more crazy than any before. SIFE competition team won our 8th regional championship and advanced to Nationals in Minneapolis, MN on May 10th-13th. I helped a girl named Raegan Perry run for Student Body President, she lost but has still rallied people together like nothing I've seen before. Because of my involvement with her campaign I was approached by a guy named Joel who wants to start a new publication of student media.
For the first time in my life I feel like I have the experience and ability to accomplish anything I want to. I feel kind of like a "top-dog." I feel entrepreneurial, I now know that I can find people and connect them with resources to accomplish specific goals.
Overview:
So I was at home the past few days for the first time in a while and it made me get to thinking, thinking about the past. Thinking about how I have been going to my grandparents house since I was born. I was thinking about growing up there, getting ice cream out of the fridge as a child, swimming in the pool, and hanging out with Nicole for countless hours.
To continue, I now feel that I am living for myself and only myself and actually making pretty decent progress. I can see the vision of what life looks like after school. I can see what I want it to look like and I understand that what I am doing is the right thing in order to accomplish it. I've sacrificed personal relationships in my pursuit for happiness. I do of course wish I could share my life with someone but at this point people are just too complicated. Once I find someone who can keep things simple, then I will be happy in that aspect.
I've changed so much in the past 2 years and even the past 6 months. The face of my life is completely different than it was. I feel like an adult now.
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