A while back I took a Skills Assessment test which is supposed to tell you what type of person you are. My result: competitor.
Yes, I live for competition. I live for the moment when you know you have beaten everyone around you, when you know you are superior. I live to prove people wrong. Tell me I can't do something and I will do my very best to prove you wrong. Its a competition. Me verses you.
I used to be a competitive bowler. I started when I was about 14 years old, entering high school. My first season I was horrible. I think I averaged something like 135. My second season I got better and averaged something like 165. During my third year I made some significant strides averaging somewhere between 185 and 190 and during the summer I had my highest average of 208. My time in bowling taught me something, it taught me how to perform under pressure, how to compete, and occasionally how to win.
Bowling is one of those weird sports. Its a solitary sport. When you are on the approach it is just you and the lane, there is no team involved at that moment. Yes, the team can motivate you and encourage you but I noticed their encouragement had nothing to do with my performance. I always seemed to bowl better around better bowlers. Its all because of competition. I remember one summer night after I got done bowling in the sport league I went down to the higher end of the house to bowl with Dustin, Chris McSwain, Chris Postell, and a few other of the better bowlers in the house. I was on a sport shot. Given my average I shouldn't have shot over 170-190ish. I ended up bowling 280. It was all because of competition.
Back in May our SIFE team went to the SIFE USA National Exposition. We put in countless hours into our presentation and were sure this would be our year to make it out of the first round at Nationals and onto the stage. I recall the moment the announcement was made that we didn't advance. The whole team was speechless. The SIFE USA National Exposition is all about competition and we lost. As a business major I believe that competition spurs innovation. And that is what will happen, we will strive to do better, and remember the bitter taste of defeat.
Our SIFE team consists of about 55-60 members. I see myself as competing against not only other SIFE teams but against different people in SIFE. I want to come out on top. I want to be one of those people 20 years from now you admire because they did something special, they achieved greatness.
On campus all the time I see these rich kids walking around with their preppy clothes and the finest girls. It seems like the prettiest girls are only attracted to the richest boys, even if they are asses. These always seem to be the boys who have the nice, new sports cars and live in the nice suburban houses that my family couldn't dream of affording.
Now I'm not going to try and make myself sound poor, because I know firsthand that there are millions upon millions of people who simply can't make ends meet. However, my family still lives off paychecks from week to week. When I graduate college I will be the first person in my family to do so. But to me this doesn't sound good enough. I want more for some reason. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I want to break through class barriers unforeseen by anyone in my family or circle of friends.
Above all I want respect, respect that I am somehow capable of deciding my own future, independent of what others may think. I want to become an expert in something, and I want others to consult me for my expertise.
I believe that a person can't easily control his/her interests. I am normally not a person to enjoy reading, AT ALL. Recently, I began ordering some business books from Amazon.com. Given these are not all stereotypical business books. These are books that talk about how people were able to differentiate themselves, how people interact, and where our ambitions come from. For some reason I am hooked on these books. I believe its because I understand that these books will help me compete, to be the best.
People seem to have such low expectations of themselves. They all say "I want to get a job with such and such company and get paid well." Well what happens after that? Do you see yourself working for "the man" for the rest of your life? Maybe I am destined to start a business for myself, maybe that is where my passion is.
In SIFE I am able to connect my passions with work. I enjoy doing almost everything I do as VP of Marketing. I love trying to make my student organization look better than the countless mobs of Greeks. I want SIFE to stand out to freshmen above other student organizations.
Maybe SIFE is where I help to understand my passions. Maybe it will help me to understand where my life is headed.
I'm reading this book called Organizing Genius. The author says that most "Great Groups" consist of people in their 20s-30s. This is attributed to their being passionate, and not realistic. They don't know what they can't do, and therefore they try to do the impossible and end up somewhere in between.
I live for the fight.
I live to come out on top.
I hate when someone does better than myself.
I hate to lose.
-MGM
No comments:
Post a Comment